Saying Good-bye to High School

Hi everyone and Happy Friday! I don't know about you, but this week has truly been a whirl-wind for me (don't worry, I'll share an update soon). This weekend marks the graduation festivities for a lot of the high schools in my hometown area in upstate New York and I wanted to address that in my post for today!

Saying 'Good-bye' to High School can be a very profound experience for students as they embark on their next journey, so I wanted to share with you all my thoughts on overcoming the sadness and celebrating the joy! Cue Vitamin C's Graduation (Friends Forever) circa 2000.

For myself, I was not too sad to leave my high school when the time came around, actually I was moreso happy to be moving onto bigger and better things, that doesn't mean that I wasn't emotional as I said my last good-byes to teachers, and fellow students. What was important for me as I began that transition was that I stayed in contact with those friends who I knew I wanted to keep in my life. Now, with the use of social media it is pretty easy to see what others are doing in their lives, but I mean deciding that you are truly going to stay in contact with people will help with your transition.

High school was not meant to last forever ... true story, but that doesn't mean that you can't cherish your times there walking the halls, gossiping with friends, playing sports on the fields, or chatting with your favorite teacher. It will all stay with you as you move on and as you adapt to your next phase in life: college,work, family life ... etc.

But, there will come a day, maybe not next week, or next month, or even next year, that your favorite high school memories will be replaced by your favorite college memories and it will be more important to stay in touch with the group of guys from your basic training group than from your high school soccer team. While it is hard to recognize that life is changing and these moments won't stay the same forever; greater and better things are coming to you, as long as you welcome them! If you stay stuck in your high school years, you will never grow and you will never expand your mind past 12th grade, even if you get a Doctorate!

My challenge to all of you High School Graduates is this: when you're standing up on that stage getting your diploma, shaking your principal's hand, and turning your tassel, think about your favorite memory from high school - a slow dance with your sweetheart, a game-winning hit in Softball, the last paragraph of your favorite speech from Debate Team - and then think about the one experience you want to have in college - saving someone's life as a student nurse, hanging out with your brothers at your fraternity house, or carrying a championship trophy on your shoulder. Both of these moments are connected and cannot happen without the other. High school is important to us because that is where we have been the most vulnerable, the most intelligent, the most excited, and the most feared in our entire life. Well my friends, you are 17-18 years old, life is just beginning and you have plenty more to learn, experience, and fear!

So, when you are up on stage this weekend thinking of your memories and goals for the future, don't forget that the best is yet to come ....

congratulations and enjoy the chase,

skylar

Creating a College Culture in Your Home

Hi everyone! I am off to a meeting today, but before I went, I wanted to talk to you all, especially you parent readers, how important it is to create a college culture in your home. College culture, as defined by moi, is the atmosphere in a specific area (home, school, business) that promotes a college education and college-going tendencies.

For those of you who don't know, this blog was part of my professional contribution in order to graduate with my Master's Degree ... a big part of that contribution was doing a lot of research. One thing that I found and thought was so interesting is that students who come from homes with an established college culture are more likely to attend and succeed in college. You may be saying to yourself, that's great but how do I do that? I am here to give you my suggestions, based on all of my research (if you want to read my paper, I'd be happy to give you a synopsis!) and experience!!

1. Talk about college in your home

This may seem obvious, but it actually doesn't happen as much as you'd think. I know a lot of students, friends, and even family members where college was never part of a home conversation. It is easy to talk about, you can connect with it sports, academics, clubs, travel, experiences, anything! Just start the conversation!

2. Walk around college campuses

It is summer time, so use this beautiful weather to walk around college campuses with your family. If you live next to one locally, make that a part of your daily walk or just make a trip each month. When you're on vacation or in a city that your student loves, walk around some campuses while there. Being in that city will get them excited thinking about spending four years of their life living there too. Many colleges have beautiful walking paths and gorgeous buildings to look at, so head on over after you read this post and immerse yourselves in the beauty of chasing college!!

3. Tell stories about your college experience

Your child needs to know your crazy stories with life lessons. Not only is this a great way to connect with them, but it also lets them see how exciting college can be, besides studying and writing papers. Ironically, it was my dad's in-the-classroom stories that got me most excited about going to college, but no matter the subject matter, talking about it gets it on your student's mind!

4. Talk about why you didn't go or what you wish you had studied instead

If you didn't go to college, have a real conversation with your children about what you think you are missing because you didn't go. I've read a lot of case studies and heard from a lot of students that the reason they are so passionate about going to college is because their parents didn't have the opportunity ... something to think about! Even if you did but wanted to major in something else, talk to your students about that. It can help them steer away from Nursing and go full force into their love of Theatre or History!

5. Help them find a passion

While this may not be directly related to college life, but helping your child find something they are passionate about can lead them directly to college. Whether they are passionate about Baseball and want to play for another two or four years, college is that opportunity. It may also take shape of summer camps or visit opportunities that take place on college campuses, or careers that you need a degree for. All of these things can help your student realize college is for them, so make sure you are helping them find and pursue that passion!!

6. Take them to enriching activities

A final way to increase the depth of college culture in your household is by taking your children and their friends to enriching activities. Enriching activities could be: dance performances, classical concerts, art shows, museum exhibits, town hall meetings, sporting events. Anything that is going to have your child stopping and critically thinking about something is going to help their brain grow and thus their desires for the future. Opening their eyes to every opportunity out in the world can truly help them see where their future and college lies!

I hope you all found this post interesting in terms of creating or increasing the parameters of your family's college culture. It is something that is never fully achieved and will never be perfect, but every little step, conversation, and event can help make your student all the more excited and interested in going to college!! Have a great day!

enjoy the chase,

skylar

How My Dad Helped My Chase for College

Hello everyone and Happy Father's Day to all of the dads out there who rock at their job (and the moms who play double-duty)!! I have a very close relationship with my Dad, so I wanted to share with you all how he has helped me through my personal college search process.

1. He has supported me in everything I've ever done, including my academic and career goals. Dads - just being there for your children is so important to their future decisions and goals. 

2. He has gone on every college visit with me, navigating each school's parking lots and making sure we visit each campus' hockey arena!

3. He listened to me ramble endlessly the February, March, and April before I graduated High School about my pros and cons list for each school. (He also added his own pros and cons in there!)

4. He helped me apply for FAFSA, which in itself I owe him the world for ... that thing is confusing and frustrating to a teenager who doesn't even have taxes that need to be done!

5. He drove 8 hours round-trip to two college visits on the Canadian border in the middle of November, while I was on crutches and after I refused a golf cart tour for both colleges ... that's love! He had a smile on his face the whole time (well, I don't know if it was a smile, but it certainly wasn't a grimace!)

6. He talked with me while I weighed every possible major change, idea, concern, question, and plan for the future.

7. He ensured that every college I looked at and applied to was my own decision and was exactly what I wanted to pursue. 

8. He drove and picked me up at college for all of my college breaks and for some weekends that were spent at home for the first three years.

9. He moved me in and out of dorm, after dorm, after apartment, after apartment. Every move (except three), he and his strength were there to help lift that mini fridge up and down three - four flights of stairs. 

10. He and my mom came to every Honor Society Induction that I had at college, including the ones where I was installed as an Officer and every dance show!

Through my entire chase, my dad (and mom) has been there to guide and support my decisions and I could not be more thankful for that!

Thank you to all of the dads out there who do a superb job at raising your children and caring for them throughout their years. You truly are rockstars!!!

enjoy the chase,

skylar

Starting the College Search in Middle School

Hi everyone! I hope you all had a great weekend and were able to spend some time celebrating graduations or reunions! Shout out to my cousin Corrin who graduated this weekend from High School! It's such an exciting moment for everyone, so make sure you take it all in and help those around you celebrate!!

Today I wanted to talk to you all about starting the college search in the Middle School years. Now, I'm going to be candid with you all on this post, since there's a lot of talk about this in education. But, should students start their college search in Middle School?

In Middle School, students have so many things coming at them - peer pressure, puberty, discovering who they are, playing new sports, and learning new mathematical equations ... oftentimes, middle school is the first time that students are able to become more independent and start making their own choices.

Because of these all-important changes, is it necessary for students to start taking college prep classes, preparing for elite high schools, and visiting colleges and universities to meet with admissions counselors? My answer - NO!

If an elite, private high school is on your radar, that's great but middle school is a chance for you to create your own habits, make friends, and start becoming aware of the world we truly live in. They need to use this time to begin establishing their academic life and what type of students they plan to become.

My suggestion, though, is for parents to start having conversations with their student and their friends about future college and career options. They don't need to decide on a university or a specific major, just yet, but start planting the seed and creating that college culture in your home.

Listen when your child talks about guest speakers or something they really enjoyed in school, this may give you indicators of where their career interests lie! Something to remember as you travel through your child's career and college chase ... a strong skill does not always equal a career. Just because I was good at Math does not mean anyone should hire me to be their Accountant -- just something to think about! No matter what though, be there as your child discusses their interests and what they are thinking about in the future!

For those of you in Middle School or parents of Middle School students, it is important to at least think about careers and talk about these things with your students when they get really excited about something, but by no means are you expected to be taking SAT prep classes before you turn 13!

enjoy the chase,

skylar

Supporting your Child's College Decision

Hi everyone! With today being the last business day before the May 1st National Enrollment Deadline, I wanted to talk to all of the parents out there about how you can support your child as they make their college decision.

While all the attention is on your child as they make the announcement of which university they choose to spend the next two or four years of their life, its also important to recognize yourself during this time. Being proud of your child is important, but you should also be proud of yourself for raising such a great child. You instilled in your son or daughter the skills that they used throughout their high school career to bring them to the precipice of college! Their leadership in the classroom, on the athletic field, in the art studio, and at their jobs is because of the way you raised them and supported them through their last 17-18 years on the planet.

As your child makes their decision on which college to attend, as a parent what is most important is that they choose a college or university that fits their needs and desires. While being a legacy to your alma mater is cool, it is more important that they choose the school because they like it and see themselves succeeding there. If your child chooses to attend another institution that isn't your alma mater, please don't think that they did this on purpose or to be malicious. They are choosing to pursue their own desires and live a college experience that is completely, 100% their own, so be proud of that!

Start thinking of opportunities to visit them on campus - -
Family Weekend, Dance Recitals, Academic Ceremonies

It may be scary to think of your child heading off to college in a few months, but this is what you've been preparing them for! They are about to embark on an experience of lifetime. They will mature, meet new people, gain some culture, change their views, and start building the life they will live for the next 50 years ... how amazing! Knowing that college is the gateway to all of those things, you should definitely be supportive of their decision. They are choosing to start their pursuit of life and experiences, so don't slow them down because you disagree with their choice of a school.

Just as you have supported them in school since Kindergarten, it will be no different once they enter college. They will need your phone calls, care packages, visits, and video chats to keep themselves sane, calm, and focused throughout college! So, don't let their choice of a university, if you disagree, get in the way of supporting your child through the most difficult, yet exciting, years of their life. Be there for them!

enjoy the chase,

skylar 

Should I Transfer?

Hi everyone! As the first semester of this school year is now complete for almost all universities, I wanted to talk about something that is a very real concern for students once they return home after that first semester. Transferring out of a college after their first or third semester can be a true issue for students once they complete their finals. It is a decision that deserves a lot of conscious thought and research, so I wanted to talk about that with you today.

Now, sometimes a college that we choose just does not work out for many reasons: you decide to change majors, the student culture isn't what you thought, changing home dynamics cause you to be perpetually homesick, your physical or mental health deteriorates, and so many other reasons. What's important to remember here though is this: IT IS YOUR REASON. It does not need to be explained or rationalized to anyone but yourself! Before you make your final decision about transferring, you should have a conversation with those who you are closest to, as well as, an advocate on your campus to determine what other options you have.

Why should you talk to your family - These are the most supportive people in your life, your parents, siblings, boyfriend/girlfriend, best friend, or another family member you trust. They know your personality best and should be able to help you decide what will be best for your new path. They can also help show you the pros and cons of transferring to another institution such as: academic quality, financial feasibility, and student life experience. Their support can also help you manage whatever your reasoning is for wanting to leave your current college, ie: depression/anxiety, lack of friends, or missing family members.

Why you should talk to a student advocate at college - These are Resident Directors, your RA, Counselors, Advisers, or any other administrator who you trust or respect. The reason you should speak with someone on your college campus too is so that if there is something on campus that can combat your reason for leaving, then they can help you find it! Oftentimes, students will choose to leave a college because they are having difficulty integrating into a social structure, so meeting with your RA or Adviser can help you find some clubs or organizations that you can join to make friends and start having a fulfilling college experience.

ABOVE ALL ELSE - Do not decide to transfer out of or into a university because of another person, ie: a boyfriend/girlfriend, crush, or best friend. You need to do what is best for you, not what is best for them. If your relationship/friendship is meant to last, then it will withstand the distance and the struggles of being apart. This is your chance to grow, learn, and become independent so don't let another person persuade you to transfer.

Story Time - My Freshman year of college, I contemplated transferring out of my alma mater. I did not have many friends (other than my roommate), I was told by my Adviser that I would not graduate on time, I missed my family and boyfriend, and honestly just wanted to be closer to my comfort zone. So, I looked into transferring into a comparable college that was only about forty minutes from my house, however as soon as I looked into the financing options I knew it would not be feasible. Most often, and this was the case for this university, transfer students get extremely limited scholarship opportunities. Even though I graduated valedictorian in High School and I had a full tuition scholarship already, I would have only been eligible for a $7,000 merit scholarship. This completely changed my mind and option of transferring. --- Instead, I chose to find ways to make my time at my alma mater exactly what I wanted it to be. I joined a few clubs, signed up to be an Orientation Leader, looked into other academic opportunities to combat my Adviser's statement. This was the BEST thing I could have ever done. I stuck it out and made my college experience exactly what I wanted it to be ... I grew up and became way more independent and just started acting and thinking for myself so that I could succeed exactly how I wanted!

Deciding whether or not to transfer out of your university is a huge decision, so make sure you look at all of your options: finances, student life, academics, and family relationships. Ultimately, you need to make the decision that is best for your success in the future and your growth as an individual and whatever decision you make, stand up for it and make it work! If you have any questions or concerns about your experiences or about possibly transferring, feel free to comment below, send me an e-mail or direct message me on Twitter, I would be glad to help you or just be a sounding-board for your decision!

For those of you who celebrate Christmas, I hope you all have an incredibly Merry Christmas surrounded by your families and friends. Take joy in this time that you get to spend with each other!

enjoy the chase,

skylar

Wish I Knew Wednesday

"I wish I'd known if the money I spent would be worth it."
Lindsay H., 25, New Berlin, New York

This is a tricky thing to give advice on because everyone values education differently and everyone values money differently. When you're planning your college search and ultimately decide the college/university and the academic program you will pursue, this question will pop in your head probably once a month. Even as a graduate student, I still question if I have made the right choices in all of my college decisions. 

Unfortunately, we cannot see into the future. (As it is "Back to the Future" Day, I find this conversation quite appropriate.) Until we are in that moment, we will never know which career will make us happy, which city we live in will provide the most opportunities, or even whether the money we spend pursuing a major will yield any job offers. 

Because of this uncertainty, it is important to make your time worthwhile in your college search and then eventually when you enroll at a college. My #1 piece of advice is to weigh your options; weigh your options between majors, schools, cities, dorms ... everything. Have conversations with your parents, siblings, friends, teachers, coaches, mentors, people on the subway, the only lady down the street, everyone! Talk to them about what you want to pursue and your reasoning behind it. Actively discussing your options and opinions will only make them more real for you and help you choose the path that you want for your college education. In addition, these conversations and the thought process that leads to your ultimate choice will help you immensely when you feel discouraged. You chose this path for a reason; because you believe it and you believe it will lead to the life that you want. Then don't let any bad grade, awkward experience, or peak at your student loan amount discourage you and make you doubt yourself or your dream. 

Make use of your time and make every second count in your college search process. Be an inquisitive consumer, question things, seek knowledge, and ultimately follow the career that is going to make you happy and that you are going to enjoy doing for the next fifty years. This is your journey ... no one else's! 

enjoy the chase,

skylar

What to Do at a College Fair!

Hi everyone! Now that school is in full swing, so are all of the awesome opportunities to attend a college fair in your area! A college fair is a great chance to meet with representatives from a bunch of different schools without having to travel super far.

At a college fair, each college has a table with a display set up which provides information on the college's location, their majors, extra-curricular and athletics offerings, and unique opportunities available on their campuses. They also will have some pamphlets and brochures for you to take with you! Here are some tips/suggestions for you to have a great college fair experience!

1. Bring a Bag! You are going to be collecting a lot of materials from athletics brochures, study abroad worksheets, to business cards. It is best if you have something to put all of that information in. Some college fairs provide plastic bags for you, but others don't so you will want to be prepared! My suggestion is either a back pack or a tote bag, that way you can drop stuff in your pockets as you are walking around.
   
2. Wear Comfortable Shoes! You are going to be standing and walking around a lot, so be sure you are wearing comfortable shoes.  Some High School Guidance Counselors suggest you dress up to attend a college fair and if you are going with your school, you should probably follow their suggestions. However, if you are going by yourself, with some friends, or with your family, you can dress nice but still be comfortable! This isn't an interview, it is just a chance to get more information about the colleges! Jeans are fine to wear with your comfortable shoes, but please no sweatpants or yoga pants!!
   
3. Make Stickers with your Information! So, I never knew about this as a High School student, but it saves you a lot of time and effort of continuously writing your name and information on hundreds of recruiting cards. (It probably won't be 100, but trust me, after the tenth it will feel like it!) So, these stickers/labels can be found at office supply stores or even at Walmart. You will want to include the following information:
   
   Full Name and Gender
   Mailing Address
   Telephone and Cell Phone
   Name of your High School
   Intended Major
   Extra-Curricular Activities or Athletics you are interested in
   
   

   You can type the information out and print it on the labels for you to have the day of the college fair. Peeling off a sticker and putting it on the recruiter card will help save a lot of time. If you don't have the access to these or you are short on time, write up an index card with all of that information so that you don't take as much time filling out the recruiting cards. (This will be better than looking at your phone at each booth trying to find your cell phone or home phone number.) This will also give you more time to speak with the representative and actively listen to what they have to say!
   
4. Have a Game Plan! Most college fair organizers put out a list closer to the date of the event of the colleges that are registered to attend. Once you get this list, make a game plan for which universities you really want to visit and what specific questions you want to know. **If you are just starting your college search and this is your first event, then having a game plan isn't necessarily essential. As long as you go into the event with an open mind and a willingness to stop at different tables and chat with the admissions representatives, then it will be successful for you!
   
5. Be Independent! Whether you go to the college fair with your parents or go with your friends, don't cling to them. This is your opportunity to go out there, meet with representatives, and start formulating your future! If you are only going to the tables that your parents and friends want, you may miss out on your dream school's table. I definitely suggest you take your parent's advice on what college tables to visit, but visit some of the ones that you want too!

NACAC (National Association for College Admissions Counseling) holds National College Fairs all across the country during the fall. If you go to this website, you will be able to find a college fair near you! Don't forget to ask your guidance counselor if they know of any local college fairs that you can attend close to home. 

enjoy the chase,

skylar

Dear Parents:

Today, I am writing to you, not just as a blogger or a graduate student, but as a daughter.

First and foremost, thank you for bringing your child into this world. Whether they were brought into this world pre-maturely, surrounded by love, on a snowy evening, or in the early morning, they were brought here to live out a purpose. Your child may know today, tomorrow, or fifty years from now what their purpose in life is, but without you, this purpose would never be fulfilled.

Second, your support and love to your children will help them succeed in high school and in college. Research shows that adolescents who have parents that take an interest in their schooling are more likely to succeed in high school and are more likely to stay in college once they enroll. The conversations you have with your child matter and make all the difference.

Third, be present. If you haven't before, start now. Every moment you are not emotionally connected with your children is a moment lost that you will never get back. You don't have to have super meaningful, thought-provoking conversations, but as long as your show your love to your child, that will mean the world. Attend their baseball game, drive them to dance class, sit at the table while they do their homework, ask them how a class is going, invite them to go shopping with you, walk the dogs together; simply put spend time together. Once comfortable, your child will talk. Trust me when I say these moments are the most meaningful and life-changing your child will ever have.

Fourth, help them navigate the college search process. If you didn't go to college, or you don't know what it takes to be a college student in the 21st Century, that is okay. There are resources out there for you, this blog being one of them, use them! You know your child's personality and you know the environment that they would thrive in, so help them pursue that environment, even if it takes them away from you.

Finally, cherish the moments you have now! Since your child first learned to crawl and talk, first stepped on a school bus and rode a bike, first hit a home-run or landed a triple pirouette, first went to prom, and first drove a car, you know that time is moving quickly. As your child grows wings and begins to fly, help them soar and guide their flight. Don't push them away and out of the nest, instead welcome them home every chance you get.

enjoy the chase,

skylar,
daughter of tom and sandy

Throwback Thursday

Happy Throwback Thursday everyone! In honor of my Alma Mater's first week of classes this week, I wanted to share some photos from my Freshmen Orientation five years ago!  It is hard to believe that it has been five years since I began my journey in higher education.

My alma mater is Elmira College, which is a small liberal arts college located in the Southern Tier of New York State. I was attracted to Elmira College instantly; the culture and the on-campus opportunities are what guided my decision to attend!

I majored in Foreign Languages and Adolescence Education to become a French teacher. I enjoyed my academic career, but through my Student Teaching, I knew that the classroom was not meant for me. I was able to work for three years in the Office of Admissions, over two years as a Resident Assistant, and as Academic Chairperson for the 2013 Orientation Executive Committee. These three experiences led me to pursue a Master's Degree in Higher Education Administration. 

My first day of Orientation was marked by moving into my dorm room, meeting my roommate, catching up with my Orientation group, and lots of ice-breakers! The roommate matching system worked great, my roommate and I were so similar. We had some great times in our Freshmen year and they continued on into the rest of our years on campus too! 

The culminating 'family' event at Orientation was the Welcome Ceremony where each Freshmen stated their name, class year, and hometown out loud to everyone in attendance. We also got our class beanies that we wore throughout the entirety of Fall Orientation (4 days). I was so glad to have my parents there to witness the beginning of my journey at EC. They were instrumental in my college search process and really helped me make my college decision! 

Freshmen Orientation and the first week of classes can be overwhelming at times (I know it was for me), with all of the new information, trying to find your classes, figuring out the Dining Hall ... etc.  These overwhelming moments won't last though as you begin to fully transition into a college student. You're only a new student for a week ... then you are just a student!

enjoy the chase,

skylar

P.S.  If you continuously feel overwhelmed, even after the first two weeks, reach out to your RA (Resident Assistant) for help. They will be able to give you some tips on making it through and will be able to give you some resources to help with your anxiety.