Book Review: Grace, Not Perfection

Hello all! If you recall from last year, one of my New Year's Resolutions was to read one book per week ... that didn't last long, but it did help me adopt the belief that if I find a book I really like, to buck up and take my time to read it.

 

This fall and early winter all I wanted to read was Grace, Not Perfection by Emily Ley, and after the holidays, I bought it on e-book and finished it in a week. It is a pretty quick read, but it is just as transformational. It is all about moving past this idea of perfection, over-planning, and worrying and embracing a life of beautiful chaos and doing so with confidence and poise. Truly a great read for anyone out there, but I thought I would use Emily Ley's concepts and thoughts as inspiration for today's post.

Emily has so many great, quotable pieces in her book, but what I took from it is that we need to live in the moment and be appreciative for what season of life we are in. I think that now a lot of us in the younger generation (15-25ish) are constantly looking for that next thing or to get on to that ultimate goal at whatever cost. This means picking work over family, studying over laughing with friends, being on our phone over visiting our grandparents .. basically anything that we can do that will help elevate us in our career. (I am 100% guilty too).

But, while reading Emily's words and convictions it really reminds you that you are exactly where you need to be to get to where you are going! We don't know what the future holds or where work and family will actually take us, but because of that we need to be satisfied in knowing that this moment is what is right.

I'll be very honest with you all throughout college, I was constantly wishing I was somewhere else in life; married to my now-fiance, working full-time, living in a big city, "thirty, flirty and thriving" ... etc. and because of that I never stopped to make any true real memories with my friends, I was constantly working towards that next goal, that next A, or that next great compliment from a boss. I missed out on so much because I was so anxious about what was to come in the future, that I wanted to prepare in every way possible. Now, I do not regret anything about my college experience because it brought me to this point, however I wish I had been able to read Emily's words a little bit sooner and embrace my college years and those moments.

One of the last thoughts she shares in the book, which is highly appropriate, is:

"One day we'll add up all our seasons - the Joyous ones,
the heart-wrenching ones, the momentous, average, and
peaceful ones. When we do we'll have a rich life story."

- Emily Ley, Grace, Not Perfection

And I truly think that this is what sums up college in a nutshell. College can be the craziest, scariest, most fun, and most frustrating time in our lives, but when you put all of those moments together, they give you the best, most transformational years of your life. So love and enjoy this season of life you are in (or about to be in) both the breakdowns at 2am and the celebrations at 2am because you will look back on both in years to come with fondness and appreciation. 

enjoy the chase,

skylar

10 Quotes to Help you Through College Orientation

Hi everyone! Since a lot of you are going to be starting college orientation in the coming week or two (if you haven't already), I thought I would share some of my favorite inspirational quotes to help you get through Orientation. It can be a long few days of being in information session after information session without any real time to do what you really want: organize and decorate your room. So, while you're sitting in that session on Alcohol or Registering for classes, check back to this post to keep you inspired!!

"Isn't it fascinating how long a few minutes seem when you are completely alone with not a familiar face in sight?"

~ Kirby Lawson ~

"I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time."

~ Anna Freud ~ 

"Getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself. That is why some people with mediocre talent, but with great inner drive, go much further than people with vastly superior talent."

~ Sophia Loren ~

"The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance - and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning."

~ Oprah Winfrey ~ 

"Books ... are like lobster shells, we surround ourselves withe them, then we grow out of them and leave them behind, as evidence of our earlier stages of development."

~ Dorothy L. Sayers ~

"If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves."

~ Maria Edgeworth ~

"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself."

~ Andy Warhol ~

"Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do."

~ Oprah Winfrey ~

"The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you."

~ B.B. King ~

"Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle."

~ Christian D. Larsen ~

Especially this last one, you will think in the coming days that you are not meant to be at college, whether it's your particular school, the program you joined, the distance from home, or other things in the past that make you question. This is your destiny and you are certainly strong enough to live it. Don't forget that as you overcome your fears and face new challenges in the coming weeks. 

enjoy the chase,

skylar

5 Things that Decrease your Productivity and How to Fix them!

Hi everyone and Happy Friday! With school starting and work going into full gear, I thought I would dedicate a post to all of the things that we do that only decrease our productivity. I am a self-described Maximizer (maximizer of time, energy, and resources) so anything that decreases my productivity needs to be lost to the world (or at least mine).

It took my a few years to perfect my productivity abilities, but after some time I finally realized all of the things that were keeping me down, so I wanted to share them with you all!

1. Staying Logged In to Facebook - This is the worst thing for you when you are trying to get things accomplished. The amount of time that I wasted on Facebook in my first year at college (it also didn't help that I was homesick) could probably span 8 weeks. By staying automatically logged in to any social media, all I had to do was go to the page and I was sucked into it for easily thirty minutes. This not only sets you back those thirty minutes, but also the amount of time that it takes for you to find again what you were working on and reorganize your thoughts. To combat this, my first tip is to click the 'log out' button on your social media settings. Then the next time you log in, make sure that you don't have "Automatically Log In" checked or just log out each time you go on. This will make it less automatic of a thing to go onto your accounts and you also have to consciously choose to log in. It's like another barrier of protection from decreased productivity.

2. Keeping your Phone on Your Lap - It's almost the same thing as staying logged into your social media accounts. If you keep your cell phone right next to you at all time, you will be twice as likely to grab it right when it dings with a notification. Whether a text message, instagram like, or retweet, it will only keep you from getting what you need to do done. Especially when it dings every few minutes. My suggestion is to keep it in your backpack, at the end of your bed, or in another room while you are working on things. You could also turn text messages and notifications to silent, while keeping your phone calls loud so that if someone is really trying to reach you, you'll be able to answer it!

3. Working with friends - Your study habits are different from your roommate's, your best friend's, and your sister's, so studying with them might actually distract you more than it will help you. With everyone else's phones going off, and notifications dinging every few seconds, the likelihood of distractions intensifies. While studying with people in your class can help you with the material, you definitely all need to be committed to getting work done in order for it to work. To fix your friends decreasing your productivity, it may be necessary to curtail studying with friends and just spending your free time with them. I know when I worked in the library alongside friends, I had to be working on a project that was okay to be distracted by: PowerPoints, outlines, highlighting ... etc. anything that wasn't too brain-intensive but something that still needed to be done. Set guidelines for yourself so that you know when it is appropriate for friend distractions and when you really need to hunker down and work by yourself.

4. Your Study Habits - It takes a while to get into a rhythm for your studying and homework patterns, but you need to make sure the ones that you are continuing are the ones that help you out the most. You may find that working in your dorm room is distracting or working in the library makes you break your concentration. Every person is different, so if you consistently find yourself looking up from your laptop or your eye wandering around the room while you are reading, you may need to think of a better habit. My tip is to try new methods and get feedback from people in your life. Learn how they study and what works best for them. It may not work for you, but it could spark a new idea to help your stay on task and focused to finish!

5. Food and Drink - To this day, nothing is more distracting to me than drinking a Frappucinno and eating popcorn. I'm so focused on enjoying those items that it distracts me from what I should really be working on. You may think you're saving time by combining eating with school work, but it honestly just distracts you more (especially when you drop some chili on your laptop). To combat this, use your eating time to focus solely on that or to browse your social media accounts. This could definitely kill two birds with one stone, but make sure you're combining something that is mindless with your eating so not to decrease your productivity even more.

As we enter the new school year, it is really important that you start making your productivity a priority. Doing that at the start of the semester before papers and tests start happening, is only going to keep you organized and focused as the school year progresses. Are there any tips that you have for increasing productivity or something you cut out of your schedule that used to decrease your productivity. Share below so we can all learn! Have a great weekend!

enjoy the chase,

skylar

Creating a College Culture in Your Home

Hi everyone! I am off to a meeting today, but before I went, I wanted to talk to you all, especially you parent readers, how important it is to create a college culture in your home. College culture, as defined by moi, is the atmosphere in a specific area (home, school, business) that promotes a college education and college-going tendencies.

For those of you who don't know, this blog was part of my professional contribution in order to graduate with my Master's Degree ... a big part of that contribution was doing a lot of research. One thing that I found and thought was so interesting is that students who come from homes with an established college culture are more likely to attend and succeed in college. You may be saying to yourself, that's great but how do I do that? I am here to give you my suggestions, based on all of my research (if you want to read my paper, I'd be happy to give you a synopsis!) and experience!!

1. Talk about college in your home

This may seem obvious, but it actually doesn't happen as much as you'd think. I know a lot of students, friends, and even family members where college was never part of a home conversation. It is easy to talk about, you can connect with it sports, academics, clubs, travel, experiences, anything! Just start the conversation!

2. Walk around college campuses

It is summer time, so use this beautiful weather to walk around college campuses with your family. If you live next to one locally, make that a part of your daily walk or just make a trip each month. When you're on vacation or in a city that your student loves, walk around some campuses while there. Being in that city will get them excited thinking about spending four years of their life living there too. Many colleges have beautiful walking paths and gorgeous buildings to look at, so head on over after you read this post and immerse yourselves in the beauty of chasing college!!

3. Tell stories about your college experience

Your child needs to know your crazy stories with life lessons. Not only is this a great way to connect with them, but it also lets them see how exciting college can be, besides studying and writing papers. Ironically, it was my dad's in-the-classroom stories that got me most excited about going to college, but no matter the subject matter, talking about it gets it on your student's mind!

4. Talk about why you didn't go or what you wish you had studied instead

If you didn't go to college, have a real conversation with your children about what you think you are missing because you didn't go. I've read a lot of case studies and heard from a lot of students that the reason they are so passionate about going to college is because their parents didn't have the opportunity ... something to think about! Even if you did but wanted to major in something else, talk to your students about that. It can help them steer away from Nursing and go full force into their love of Theatre or History!

5. Help them find a passion

While this may not be directly related to college life, but helping your child find something they are passionate about can lead them directly to college. Whether they are passionate about Baseball and want to play for another two or four years, college is that opportunity. It may also take shape of summer camps or visit opportunities that take place on college campuses, or careers that you need a degree for. All of these things can help your student realize college is for them, so make sure you are helping them find and pursue that passion!!

6. Take them to enriching activities

A final way to increase the depth of college culture in your household is by taking your children and their friends to enriching activities. Enriching activities could be: dance performances, classical concerts, art shows, museum exhibits, town hall meetings, sporting events. Anything that is going to have your child stopping and critically thinking about something is going to help their brain grow and thus their desires for the future. Opening their eyes to every opportunity out in the world can truly help them see where their future and college lies!

I hope you all found this post interesting in terms of creating or increasing the parameters of your family's college culture. It is something that is never fully achieved and will never be perfect, but every little step, conversation, and event can help make your student all the more excited and interested in going to college!! Have a great day!

enjoy the chase,

skylar